inexplicable mood

I am in a very bad mood right now, torn between lashing out and crying. It began this morning when I am saying a term that I don't know. It's stupid, but well...so I'm very pissed off right now to the extent that I am thinking of requesting to be moved to another team.

Of course that is silly of me not to mention shallow but I already felt this way for quite someitme. They're good people I know but not the type of crowd I'm used to. I can ride along with the racy jokes and biting remarks but people have tolerance level and sometimes that runs out.

I'm too different, I felt that and I guess so do they. They call me morbid when I'm being sarcastic. I'm in an environment that has a black sense of humor? My sister has an even darker sense of humor (due to the risks involved in her job) and my father has the darkest even to the point of making jokes about my sister who was in the hospital due to malaria. But he meant well, he was trying his best to lighten things up because even he too was worried but did not want to join the bunch.

I have an ego the size of Asia, ok maybe that is not even the appropriate term but I am a very proud person. And I hate being made a fool out of.

One of these days I might ask to be moved to another team. But now is not the time. I've been in this team too long to give that up, they're the only people I know and even if I do move to another team that consists of the ones I am closed with, there would be changes. I learned the hard way that you can't go back to the way it used to be with the people you know and loved.